i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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