Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The ass gains better be worth it
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