On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
