Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
