It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's never too late to be topless.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
