so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
