He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
