if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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