Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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