i would punch a child for taco bell
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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