is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
no you cant smoke seaweed
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
