I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
