i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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