I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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