My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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