yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
