so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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