I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
