Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
