watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
