my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
we're so committed to being not committed
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