I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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