Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
