I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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