she woke up with a sticky ear
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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