ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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