do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Be still, my beating vagina.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
