ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
