Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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