that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
