Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
