She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i will never coherently bang her
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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