Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
