? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
