Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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