doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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