I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
