he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
