lets start a swedish sibling band together
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
