I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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