That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My ass is underappreciated
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
