I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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