if i can run in heels then i can drive
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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