He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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