i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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