It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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