You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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