You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
