I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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