I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
